Mending

This wasn’t going well at all. Toby could barely even look at her, preferring to stare out the window like she wasn’t even there. And then he said they should stop hanging out. Hayden frowned in confusion. Toby might not be the warmest person ever, but he had never outright denied her company. So why would he now? Because of the O’Briens, apparently. “I don’t want other friends,” Hayden informed him, completely oblivious to the fact she was implying that she and Toby were exactly that. “Those kids haven’t wanted to be my friends for four years. And so I have a family now. So what? That’s for summers and Christmases. But right now I’m here. And you’re here. So what’s wrong with us both being in the same place?” Why did it feel like she was banging her head against a wall? Was this how Ari had felt when Hayden had gotten so mad at her after the Eye?

Seeing that he wasn’t going to take the package, Hayden let her arm fall back to her side. Then she sighed. She could talk all day about intellectual subjects, but discussing her feelings wasn’t exactly her forte. She glanced out the window, chewing briefly at her lip before continuing. “Everything’s just changing really fast, and it still feels like it could all far apart. And I just need something to stay the same.” She needed things to be okay with her and Toby. Maybe because he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe knowing that made it easier to believe he wouldn’t walk out. That he would stay consistent even if everything else went to pieces. Or maybe Hayden just plain missed his silent presence.

In a sudden surge of defiance, she stepped forward and dropped the package with the autographed picture and bat right into his lap. Then she put her back against the wall opposite Toby and slid to the ground. She crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. “I’m not leaving until you open it,” she informed him. If he could look at the picture and bat and still be upset with her, then she would know things were definitely bad.

Toby seemed to sag as he mumbled something about not being around long. “Don’t say that,” Hayden said strongly. She couldn’t deny she was worried about him. Being a werewolf had landed him in the Ministry’s crosshairs lately. But there had to be something they could do to help him. Maybe Claire could do something? She worked in that department. Merlin knew she was up in arms about the Ministry going behind their backs to pass the new legislation. Maybe she would know how to help.

Just when she thought she might be getting through to him, Toby suddenly went on the offense. Hayden shook her head angrily while making a mental note to apologize to Ari for the yelling incident after the Eye fell. Now that she was on the other side, she understood how it must have felt. “You can be a real ass, you know that? Do you honestly think I would be trying this hard if I didn’t actually want to be around you?” She shook the package still in her hand as proof. “Why can’t you ever just let anybody be nice to you?” For the same reason as Hayden, probably. Because it never lasted. Because why bother letting someone in when they were only going to leave again?

And then he started yelling. Hayden might not generally be an angry person, but she could most certainly hold her own when someone did manage to piss her off. Which Toby had just accomplished. “I want my friend back!” she yelled. There. She had said it. She had never really used that word before. Mostly because she assumed Toby just tolerated her company because no one else would put up with him. Surely if he had a chance he would rather be with other kids. Like that girl at the Hogsmeade match. But he was her friend, whether Hayden had ever called it that or not. Although at the moment she was too angry and hurt to even notice the word she had just used. Instead she just blazed right ahead. “I want to know that there’s one person in my life, just one person, that’s going to stay! Not because it’s their job or because some stupid piece of paper says I belong to them but because they actually want to be there! Because they actually want me! Why is that so much to ask?!” She took a breath as her eyes started burning. This was supposed to be about Toby, not her. But even with the adoption, it was still taking some time to get her head around the idea the O’Briens weren’t going to drop her when things got hard or that Ari wasn’t going to just stop checking in because she had better things to do. And now Toby was trying to shove her out, and Hayden literally didn’t know how to handle that.

She shook her head fiercely when he said he was doing this for her. “That’s bull, and you know it. You’re doing it for you. You’re pushing me out before you get hurt. But I’m not going anywhere. So get that through your stupid head.” She turned her gaze to the wall across from her, glaring daggers at the stone as she refused to move an inch from her place on the floor. “If you want me gone, you’ll have to be the one to leave.” An ultimatum admittedly might not have been her best move. But Hayden really didn’t know what else to do.

Talk of registration made Hayden nervous. It wasn’t fair. Toby hadn’t done anything. They didn’t have any right to take him away, but what could she possibly do against it? “They can’t throw you out. McGonagall won’t let them.” That woman could be terrifying when she wanted to be. But she also gave Hayden an idea. “Have you talked to her? Maybe she would let you go. Or work something out with the Ministry so you don’t have to.” Personally, Hayden didn’t want Toby registered at all. It sounded like a terrible idea. But she knew better than to try and talk him out of something when she was angry.

The question of letters drew a scoff from Hayden. “You didn’t write me either! And then Ari said you got kicked out. Where the hell was I supposed to send a letter? It wasn’t like you had an address. I didn’t even know if you were going to come to school! For all I knew, you could’ve gotten yourself killed!” She wasn’t mad at him exactly. More mad at the situation. She was mad that Toby had this condition beyond his control and mad that the world kept making him pay for it.

Toby’s words tore at Hayden’s heart. She knew exactly what he was talking about. That feeling of abandonment. Of being broken. “I do understand. That’s why I thought we were different. I thought we weren’t going to do that to each other.” She couldn’t stop the hurt from seeping into her voice on that last sentence. If Toby understood what it was like, then why was he putting Hayden in this position? Why was he pushing her away just like everyone else?

She shook her head hard. “You’re not going anywhere. We’ll figure something out. We’ll fight it.” The wheels in her head were turning, rapidly searching for a solution. There had to be something she could do to help. “Claire, my new mom, she works in the Ministry. But she’s not like the rest of them. Her dad was a werewolf. She’s mad as hell about the registration. Says it’s not right. She keeps trying to find a way around it, some way they could reverse the new laws. Maybe she could help.” Not that Hayden was actually expecting Toby to trust anyone from the Ministry. And Claire would probably be shocked speechless at Hayden suggested she could be helpful. But if anyone in Hayden’s world could do anything about this, it would be her.

Toby was still trying to talk his way out of this. “Because hurting me to protect yourself isn’t selfish?” Hayden shook her head. “I don’t care if you’re not normal. All those normal kids out there never wanted to be my friends anyway.” And then Toby started to walk away. Hayden could feel her heart dropping down to her toes. She reached out to catch his hand, stopping herself just short when she remembered how much he hated being touched. But mercifully, he stopped on his own. His words and the jealousy they had caused Hayden to drop her gaze to the ground. “I know. And I am. It’s just really hard to believe it’ll finally stick this time. I keep waiting for them to change their minds.” She looked up, her eyes pleading as she changed the subject. “Don’t go. Please.” Bargaining hadn’t worked. Bribery, logic, appeals to emotion. None of it was convincing Toby not to walk out. All Hayden had left was the plea.

Hayden could feel her heart tearing as she looked down at Toby. He just seemed to small and alone sitting there. It wasn’t right how he was being treated. He was only dangerous one night a month (the main reason his presence had never bothered Hayden), and even that wasn’t an issue now that the school was getting him wolfsbane potion. The Ministry didn’t have any reason to be vilifying him like this. There had to be something Hayden could do. Like talking to the headmistress. “I could talk to her.” The idea of going up to McGonagall’s office really wasn’t that intimidating for Hayden, mostly because she was never in trouble. Besides, Toby needed help. Hayden would do whatever needed doing to help. And then Toby as asking what he should do. “I don’t know,” she admitted helplessly. “Claire, my new mom, she seems to think it’s a bad idea. That if the Ministry gets a list of names, they’ll just abuse it. But if you do it, they won’t take you away, right?” She really had no idea. Maybe it would be worth writing to Claire for some advice. Assuming she even wanted to give it considering how rocky things were between her and Hayden right now.

Toby seemed shocked that she knew he had been kicked out. “Yeah, I know! Why do you think I’ve been trying so hard to get you to talk to me? I wanted to see if you were okay.” She glanced down at the stones beneath her feet as she used the toe of her foot to trace the outline of one. The thought of Toby living on the street was worrying. “Ari came by sometimes after I got adopted. She said you got thrown out, but she didn’t know why.” Hayden looked back up, concern written across her face. “Did something happen?”

Her injured tone seemed to finally to get through to Toby at least a little. Although Hayden was still at a loss. How could she convince him she wasn’t going anywhere. “I won’t. I know it sounds stupid because that’s what everybody says and they always end up leaving anyway. But I mean it. You’re stuck with me.” Her firm tone turned slightly unsure as she added, “If you want to be, anyway.”

And now they were back to this. He had a point. What were two fifteen-year-olds against the whole Ministry? Hayden’s only real idea was quickly shot down. Toby didn’t want Claire involved. He might have a point though. Hayden didn’t want to ask so much of her new family that they changed their minds. But still. “So what am I supposed to do?” She lifted her hands and then dropped them helplessly. “I can’t just sit here and watch the Ministry do whatever they want with you. There’s got to be something.” Nothing was coming to mind, but Hayden wasn’t prepared to give up. Toby was her friend. One of the only ones she had. She couldn’t lose that.

For some ridiculous reason, Toby actually seemed to think things with the O’Briens would last. That seemed to be everyone except Hayden. She wanted it to last. She did. She just wasn’t quite sure yet that it would. It seemed too good to be true. Toby even slipped in a compliment. And about the closest thing to an apology Hayden had ever heard cross his lips. “Well, better late than never,” she said with a very tiny smile. Toby turned around, and then he was sitting down next to her. Hayden let out a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding. Maybe things actually were going to be okay. Toby took the bird off his shoulder (Hayden had been wondering what the deal was with the little guy) and introduced him as if the last few minutes had never even happened. “Hi, Pat.” Hayden reached over and very carefully stroked the feathers on his head. She had always gotten on well with animals. So did Toby, apparently. And how the Ministry could make a villain out of someone who rescued baby birds was completely beyond Hayden. She grinned at Toby’s question. “I have no idea. Um… Maybe ask Professor Hagrid? He probably knows.” That man adopted all sorts of strange creatures. Which personally, Hayden thought was fantastic.

Now that Toby seemed calm again, Hayden leaned over to grab the package he had left on the ground and held it out to him. “Now will you please open this? Or do I have to beg?” There was a hint of teasing in her voice. To say she was excited would be an understatement. Any kid who liked Quidditch would probably love to have a signed beater’s bat and picture of their favorite player. But for an orphan kid with a shortage of nice things? It was as good as gold.

Hayden’s gut instinct was to rail against the Ministry. Tell Toby to fight back against the injustice. But she took a breath and forced herself to look at the situation logically. “The orphanage already knows you’re a werewolf. It wouldn’t be hard for the Ministry to find out. If you don’t register, it’ll look like you’re trying to hide it.” She bit her lip briefly, and then her shoulders seemed to slump a bit in defeat. “It’s probably better if you do it. At least then they don’t have an immediate reason to come after you.” And if they did try to take him away, Hayden liked to think the headmistress would fight back against that.

“I’m your friend,” Hayden pointed out, using the word for the second time in this conversation. “Of course I should know.” She sighed. “I should have been there. Maybe I could have helped.” No wonder Toby was upset with her. He had needed someone, and Hayden hadn’t been there. Maybe he was right. Maybe she really had abandoned him.

For a second, she thought Toby might not believe her. Not that she could blame him. But then he held up his pinky. Hayden stuck out her own hand and linked her finger with his. “I’ll stay if you’ll stay,” she said, with only the slightest of tremors in her voice. They were in this together.

The defeated tone in Toby’s voice broken Hayden’s heart. “Of course I’ll stay. And I won’t let them take you. I don’t know how. But… I’ll think of something. I can talk to my new parents or Professor McGonagall or Ari… or something.” Toby didn’t seem to buy that, asking her to stay in contact even once he was gone. Hayden wanted to argue, to insist that they would figure this out. But maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe it was better for now to give him what he wanted. So instead she just nodded. “Of course. I promise.” She meant it. She was going to stay in touch this time, no matter what it took.

Toby finally took the package. About time. Hayden was starting to think she’d have to find another home for the bat. “Yeah, you made that pretty clear,” she said drily. But Toby quickly handed the half-opened package back to her when he saw the bat inside. What was wrong with it now? “Yes, you can. It didn’t cost me anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. I know someone who got it for me.” The fact that she had asked was completely irrelevant. Hayden leaned her head back against the stone wall behind her. “I was going to tell you this after you opened it, but since you’re being difficult… You know Alec Wayland? The Quidditch player? Well, he sort of saved my life when I was a kid. And my new uncle plays Quidditch for the Appleby Arrows, so he got Alec a letter from me. And then Alec wrote back. And now we’re sort of pen pals or something.” She paused briefly as she realized how weird that sounded. Her being pen pals with a Quidditch player. Huh. “Anyway, I told him I knew someone who liked Quidditch, so he sent me that for you.” She definitely hadn’t asked for an autograph for Toby. Nope. He would probably see that as pity, and it was already hard enough getting him to take the bag. Hayden pushed the package back into his hands. “So it’s yours whether you want it or not. I don’t even care that much about Quidditch anyway.” This would doubtless mean far more to Toby than it did to Hayden.