I'm so sorry [Remus]

Countless faces passed through Remus' life in the last month. Some more than once, to hold his hand and guide him through this, and some only once, to offer their condolences. Countless; but Remus remembered each and every one of them. He was grateful to them all. As much as he wanted to be sometimes, he knew he couldn't be alone right now. So he learned to hurt in front of people, let them see his pain. He discovered, more often than not, that most people could actually relate. He wasn't alone in any sense of the word.

One of those people was Lyall. He knew just a little of her story, from asking around about her back when he still wasn't sure what kind of person she was, but he knew enough to know she could relate. Remus avoided reaching out to anybody in these days so as to not completely overwhelm himself; so he was relieved when Lyall finally wrote him. Such was Remus' curse - he was always thinking of other people, worrying over their plights and agitating his own hurt in the process. But just like he knew that other people hurt, he knew the world didn't stop for him. And in his wife's memory, he would never stop either. She wouldn't have wanted that.

Lyall invited him out to a Muggle coffee shop out in London, and Remus was glad for it. The both of them could use a break from it all, he thought. The Muggle world was so surreal in that way. Their two worlds were quite literally right on top of each other, but when one was in the thick of the Muggles, it all felt so faraway. Like a fairy tale land, even with all the smog and crowds and traffic. At least these people didn't even believe in werewolves, much less try to prosecute them.

When Remus entered the coffee shop he spotted Lyall easily and headed over, giving her a small wave. "It's no problem at all," he said, patting her on the shoulder before sitting down. "I really do appreciate the break, actually. And I'm sure you do too." Remus' gaze followed Lyall's hand to the things she had set out on the table. Toys and cupcakes. A grin broke out across Remus' face and a surge of emotion in his chest warned him to grab a napkin for his eyes before it was too late. No tears yet, but he could feel them coming. "Thank you. That is incredibly sweet of you to do. You know this means they'll have to have you over to play now?" Lily James especially took a liking to the woman when she came over for dinner; and if he knew his son at all, Teddy would be a fan of anyone who bought him a toy.

Remus himself was a big fan of anyone who bought him a cupcake. His sweet tooth was enormous, especially so in these days after the full moon when his appetite returned full force. He concentrated on carefully removing the wrapper, looking back up when he heard something strange in Lyall's voice. Oh, no. If she started crying...there would definitely be tears abound. But he wasn't hiding anymore, remember? He put his cupcake down for the moment and shook his head lightly. "Thank you." He ran one hand over his stubbly face, other fingers moving to fiddle with the toys on the table. "The kids make it easier, you know. Does that surprise you? I thought it would be harder, seeing them. But they make it easier." Remus glanced up at Lyall before shrugging sheepishly, unsure of where that babbling came from. From not hiding things, he guessed. His attention turned back to his cupcake, and he took a bite. "Are you doing okay?"

(OOC: Perfect! )

A mad, mad world. Lyall was absolutely right. It wasn't an evil world, or the wrong world. It had no sense to it at all, it was mad. And in the face of madness, it was an endless fight. They absolutely had to take their breaks where they could get them. "Don't you know it," he agreed, nodding. When she asked him how he was holding up with it all...Remus looked everywhere but at her for a long moment. Finally he met her gaze, surely full of questions, and left his face open and exposed to whatever lay there beneath it. She could see it more than he could ever say it. "One day at a time." They surely couldn't ask him for much more than that.

Remus' life was made up of all the simple little moments now, for the time being. It was all he could bear. So, when Lyall agreed to the playdate, he was relieved, appreciated, and overjoyed all in one. His children's lives were made up of those same little moments, too. That's how they were and Remus hoped to be like that, too. All he had were those moments and he damn well better be relieved, appreciative, and overjoyed with them. Lyall knew exactly what he meant, he was glad to hear. They had similar stories. Every time he spoke to this women he realized more and more the poignant things they had in common, leaving him feeling like Lyall was an old friend even if the opposite was technically true. And even more than little moments, Remus thrived on his old friends. "They're my light. And they adore you already, though that's not surprising in the least." He nodded in strong agreement of having something to hold onto in grief. That's exactly what this was all about, those little moments and those old friends. "I try not to be alone. Even when it's what I want more than anything else." He was sure she would understand that, too.

Remus worked his way into his cupcake and turned the tables on Lyall for the time being. She said she was scared. Remus swallowed a bite and looked up at her with a slight nod of his head. "It's terrifying." All of it. His grief, the world. "Have there been any aftershocks through your department from what happened?" Dora's death shook up in the Ministry - unfortunately, in the exact opposite of any direction the woman would have ever wanted.

(OOC: Noooo problem! As you see it has taken me a while too lol)

"Of course...though, at this rate they're going to end up liking you more than they like me," Remus grinned slightly. He thought it might be good for Lyall to hear that; and really, he had no worries about the wandering of the twins' affections. They really were his light, especially now, but he'd always had a blessedly close relationship with his children from the moment they were born - so he could share the light, from time to time.

Especially with a person as good to him as Lyall was. He chuckled at her comment, shaking his head slightly. "Oh, don't even make me argue with you, we've gotten on so well up to this point," he grinned. "I think we both stand to learn a lot from one another, hey?" They really would sit here and argue all day about this, if she pushed it. All out of admiration, of course - just when Remus found good people, he had a hard time letting them talk themselves down.

While Remus enjoyed this light conversation - it helped immensely, mainly just because it was nice to have a normal conversation - he was sincerely curious about what was happening in Lyall's department now. He knew he would ask her eventually; so why not now, when he was feeling pretty okay? Lyall's apology hit him down a bit; Remus swallowed hard and nodded. "I hate it." He and Lyall owed complete honesty to one another at this point, he thought. "I can't stop thinking about what she would think of it all. She would be mad as hell." He had to smile, then - it was sad, but a smile. "But what I can't figure out, is what she would want me to do. What I'm supposed to do now. She always helped me see my way." Remus was mostly rambling, his head halfway here and halfway somewhere else - but still, Lyall would probably understand more than anyone else he could talk to.

(It's okay!!! I'm slow too lol)