Ministry of Magic
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Gabriel Bishop on Feb 27, 2017 6:00:49 GMT
The last few weeks had been an emotional hell. Gabriel never thought himself a coward before, but he sure felt like one now. He would build up his nerve and make plans to meet with Remus and then back out at the last moment. He had auror work or a cold, his owl was sick or his cat had a grooming appointment that he'd forgotten (hopefully Remus wasn't aware that he didn't even really like cats, much less own one. ). Considering how familiar the older man was with much of his work department, Gabriel was sure that eventually he would lose all credibility. He didn't want to lie, there was just so much conflict up in his head. Remus was a charming man and he very much enjoyed the time they spent together. He really enjoyed their kisses on Valentine's Day and Remus seemed to have as well, but Remus was a grieving widower. Who knows the last time he'd been shown affection? He was vulnerable and Gabriel wasn't the sort of man who could prey upon that vulnerability, could he?
In a way, he was changing. Old Gabriel wasn't so concerned with the minor details, just the end result. If they enjoyed themselves then who cared about what happened along the way? Was it wrong to take advantage of a man's loneliness if it meant that the man would feel loved and appreciated when all was said and done? But... If there were feelings there, he wanted them to come from a genuine place. He didn't want to manipulate him to get what hewanted. Manipulating Remus felt wrong. But Merlin, he wouldn't stay out of his head. The older man never struck him as someone who was stubborn but try as he might to stop it, Remus kept sneaking back into his thoughts right after he managed to chase him out of them.
It took a little bit of alcohol to give him the push he finally needed but the blonde wizard was soon striding up the man's lawn. What was the alternative? To keep lying 'til it was obvious and then how would Remus feel? Hurting him was unacceptable. Maybe the timing wasn't right, but everything else was. If only they'd met a little bit later, he wouldn't feel so guilty. Gabriel knocked on the door, unsure if Remus would answer at this hour and.. didn't he have kids? Merlin, this was wrong. The auror shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and sighed, kicking at a pebble on the door step.
When the door opened he lost all self control. Gabriel closed the distance between them in one step, wrapping his arms around the man and smothering out any questions with his lips. Their bodies were pressed together and they were nothing but a tangle of limbs and passion. They stumbled together into the house, refusing to break the kiss. His fingers fumbled clumsily with the buttons of Remus' shirt as he pushed the man up against the wall and --
And then the door actually opened, snapping him out of his moonlit day dream. "Hey." Gabriel straightened up and ran a hand through his hair and over his own angular jaw. There was a twinge of something in his chest. A thrill, or a warning maybe? He cocked half a smirk, eyes twinkling with amusement at his own cheekiness "So my owl's recovered. Can we talk?"
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Feb 28, 2017 4:59:23 GMT
Remus found himself in some sort of hell, too, these past couple of weeks. Longer than that, actually. On top of still feeling sad and lonely and lost at the most inopportune moments (and sometimes opportune, when he could manage to get a moment alone), he kept putting himself in situations that left him so bloody vulnerable. And maybe it wasn't all hell; some of it was actually very pleasant, heavenly if you will. He just didn't feel like himself. He liked it, kind of, the vulnerability and the openness. But Remus had always been a very guarded person (with most people, for mostly good reasons) and he felt completely unprepared for the hurt that could come from leaving oneself open, and how raw it felt.
Again, he felt silly. He was a grown man acting just like the children he taught at school. He blamed it on his having been largely deprived of those learning experiences - how to love and how to hurt - in his own youth; but that didn't make it hurt any less. Somehow, he thought it might be worse. People expected better of him, surely. People expected him to be good at everything, didn't they? He could see the admiration even in Gabriel's eyes, and it couldn't possibly be because he was handsome or such nonsense. People didn't expect a man like Remus to go falling to pieces over every person that showed him affection.
But, honestly...Remus didn't even know if that was true anymore. He didn't know what people expected of him now at all and it was driving him crazy. Being a widower was a weird thing. When was he supposed to move on? Did people expect him to move on, or would they prefer he stay under this black veil forever? Remus oscillated between completely cutting himself off from everyone, just him and the kids for the rest of time - and then straight to working himself into a frenzy every time he thought he might see Gabriel again, wondering how many days he could get away with hiding in the man's arms before people started asking about him. That. That was hell.
Hell made so much worse by the fact that he wasn't actually seeing Gabriel. Not physically. They made plan after plan and the young Auror always cancelled on him. The guilt of wanting it was already suffocating; not having it took every atom of air out of him. He just...needed to see him. At least get some closure, on his end, that of course their kiss was just a silly little Valentine's Day game. That no one like Gabriel would want Remus, not like that. That Remus wasn't in Gabriel's head nearly as much as Gabriel was in his.
Seeing him would hurt, though. Remus already went through this with Mali, didn't he? They'd worked it out, eventually; but Remus felt like he was chasing all his friends away because he was starved for affection. Maybe it would be easier if this was just squashed from the beginning. This resignation was finally setting in as Remus came back down the stairs from putting the twins to bed. His shoulders suddenly felt so heavy, tension twisting the muscles up to his neck. He sighed and went to the liquor cabinet beside the fireplace and made himself something strong.
He got less than three sips in before someone was knocking on his door. Someone was always knocking on the door; he was grateful the kids' rooms were on the third floor. Remus carried his drink to the door and peeked through the curtain at his late night visitor. His heart jumped into his throat, bleeding away the tension with a rush of adrenaline. Gabriel was just exciting to look at, angles and scruffiness. Remus considered just watching him through the window until he went away before another sip (er, gulp) from his glass prompted him to swing the door open.
That smirk needed to come with a warning label. Remus instantly found himself grinning back - yes, just like those schoolgirls he considered himself so high and mightily above. "I'm glad to hear it." About the owl, in Gabriel's voice...Remus was glad about all of it. "Mhm," he nodded, stepping out of the doorway so Gabriel could come in. He looked down in his glass, swishing the ice cubes back and forth but he couldn't keep his eyes away for long. He looked back up and asked, "Do you want a drink?"
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Ministry of Magic
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Gabriel Bishop on Mar 6, 2017 7:16:41 GMT
The door didn't open right away, leaving him to swim through a very appealing night time day dream. A small seed of doubt managed to wheedle it's way through as he imagined how he'd like his 'talk' to go. Remus was taking a decent amount of time to answer the door. Maybe he was putting his children in to bed, or maybe he was avoiding him. Gabriel would certainly deserve it after what he'd put the older man through. A strange feeling prickled at his nerves, like there might be a pair of eyes on him. He was half lost in a knot of limbs and lips, running his hands over the raised rope like scars that decorated Remus' chest, and half cognizant of the fact he felt like he was being watched. His gaze left the pebble he'd been toeing for the window, just in time to see the curtain fall back into place seconds before the door opened.
Remus didn't seem to put off by the fact Gabriel'd been avoiding him. The two men grinned at each other, like all was right in the world. Like this was right, the timing was right. Everything could be right. "Yeah." the Auror nodded. "Me too. The bird's a bit of a drama queen." Gabriel stepped through the door when Remus stepped aside. His hands felt warm and sweaty and he shoved them into the pockets of his jeans to hide them. Normally Gabriel was never one to decline the offer of a drink but it would only distract him from his objective. He shook his head, tucking stray locks of blonde back behind his ear. "No thanks. I don't think I'll be staying long." While he hoped that wasn't the case, he had to be realistic. Just moments ago he was convinced that the timing was all wrong. Plus, Remus was a man who was pretty settled in life and Gabriel was someone who just uprooted his entire life to move across the ocean with nothing but a bright-eyed, foolishly optimistic idea of making a difference. They were different people at different points of their life. He was likely too young for Remus, and it didn't have a thing to do with actual numerical age.
The cool façade was gone as doubts began to settle in. His posture changed from relaxed to something more stiff with tension, he chewed thoughtfully on the nail of his thumb (nail biting was one of his worst habits) with his gaze down as he searched his brain for the right way to start. It had to be done, he wouldn't lie anymore. "Look." he started, clearly uncomfortable with his task while forcing himself to look Remus in the eye. Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly aware of the tension and discomfort in his muscles. This wasn't how any of his flings or relationships had gone, none made him this nervous. He prided himself on his confidence and smoothness. "I don't know what we were doing back at the Leaky Cauldron, and I don't really know what I'm doing now, but I really like you and I think you like me too."
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Mar 22, 2017 3:06:25 GMT
"Aren't they all?" Owls. They were talking about owls. Remus was happy to talk about absolutely anything with Gabriel, as long as it kept him here. If that's what he came here to talk about, owls, Remus would pull down all the books about owls had had on his bookshelves (he had several...Remus had a book on everything) and read them aloud so they could talk all night.
Gabriel turned down his offer of a drink and stated he would not in fact be staying all night, though, or long at all - causing Remus to visibly deflate. "Oh." Gabriel's smile did something funny to Remus' brain, whenever he saw it he felt hopeful and and he always had the strangest sensation something good was about to happen...but maybe Gabriel hadn't come here just to talk. Maybe he'd come here to have a talk. The talk. The bad one. Remus set his half-empty glass down on the side-table by the door and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't feel much like talking at all, now.
Gabriel looked so incredibly uncomfortable, too, touching his lips and his neck. Damn him, he even made uncomfortable look cute. Remus met his eye, because he said to look. And Remus listened. Gabriel was uncomfortable and confused and Remus thought it might have just been the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. He sunk into the last half of Gabriel's sentence, literally fell forward and stepped toward the man. He grabbed Gabriel's hand away from his neck and held it in both of his own. "I really like you," he mimicked in the most sincere way, the faintest of grins returning. It couldn't ever stay away for long around Gabriel - just look at that face. The man could break his heart right now and Remus would still find it dizzying.
To make everything stop spinning so much, he had to kiss it. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Gabriel's cheek. "That's all we're doing, right - just liking each other? That's all that really matters. We don't have to know anything else. Is that what's been keeping you from me? Because I'll make sure you know it."
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Ministry of Magic
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Gabriel Bishop on Apr 22, 2017 22:33:07 GMT
When Gabriel said 'look' he didn't necessarily mean it literally. Remus met his eyes and it made his insides feel uncomfortably squirmy under the man's intensely handsome gaze. It should be one that was hard after all Remus had been through. Two wars, a lifetime of lycanthropy and more personal loss than one person should ever have to bare. Yet, he was soft in the best ways with a kindness that persevered through it all. He might be uncomfortable, but everything was out in the open now. Once the words were spoken he was expecting some sort of feeling of relief, but didn't immediately find it. He felt exposed, if anything. Like he'd laid all his cards out on the table and had nothing left to hide behind.
What was he even saying? That he liked Remus. It made it sound like some silly schoolyard crush and they both deserved more than that. His relief did come when Remus took his hand, the man didn't look put off by his juvenile choice of words. Quite the contrary, Remus was grinning which coaxed the corners of his own mouth out of it's heavy frown. Not even Remus' accent or sophisticated way of saying everything could make the declaration sound more mature, but he did say it in such a way that made it seem like maturity didn't really matter. "Well we're on to something, then." Mutual like for each other, that was definitely something. As sure as he was about what his own feelings were and what he thought Remus' had been, Gabriel hadn't known what to expect. This was definitely a pleasant surprise.
Gabriel's brain short circuited for several seconds when the older man kissed his cheek. The gesture was so chaste and sweet, but it meant something deeper. There was no alcohol or cheesy hallmark holidays to blame for that this time, just like. It wasn't exactly his feelings that had been keeping the auror away, it was the timing. "Not really.. I just..I didn't--" That made it sound like he had all the answers now, from one little kiss on the cheek "I don't know if the timing's right, considering..." Gabriel was a blunt man and times like this called for a level of tact far beyond his capabilities. "I mean.. If it's not, I'll--I can wait." Waiting would drive him mad, but he'd do it because the way he felt with his hand in Remus' was spectacular and worth it.
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