Quarrelsome

Mali loved to lay quietly with Theo, curled up with her head on his chest. She could listen to him just be, breathe and just exist as the unbelievably wonderful person that she was almost sure she wanted to spend the entire rest of her life with. Almost... Occasionally she could see someone else in her future, if only vaguely. She and Mister Lupin had bonded in the time that she and Theo had been forced apart. They owed debts to each other that neither could fully repay and that created something between people. Mali didn't love Mister Lupin in the way that she loved Theo but she did care about him, maybe even loved him in a different sense of the word. It was so confusing.

She didn't like to feel confused. It made her feel insecure, and the insecurity seeped into everything and poisoned other aspects of her life. Theo sighed, she heard the deep and slow breath in his lungs and it made her flinch. It sounded disappointed, exasperated. Why was she pushing this, poking at the slumbering troll? Mali didn't want to fight with him, did she? It was almost a compulsion. A test. Her insecurity and confusion made it so. She lifted her head to look at Theo, face set in defiance. "That doesn't even make any sense, Theo." It did, and deep down she knew it. Deep, deep down. Her intentions were good, though, and that would help succeed. Good intentions and heart were all she had, really.

The witch pulled away from him to sit up. "If it's too dangerous then you shouldn't do it either. You should change positions." Mali didn't truly want him to do that, his ability as a Medi-Wizard was something she found very attractive. It fit him so well. "I'm just as capable as you are, you know." There was a little distance between them when she sat up, physically and emotionally and Mali, who was being torn in two different directions, tried to solve it by reaching out for his hand expectantly. It wasn't a lie that she was just as capable as he was, her capability just existed in different ways. While Theo was capable of working in chaos to piece people back together enough to get them to the hospital, Mali was capable of healing charms and spells that required finesse. Neither was more skilled than the other, their skills complimented each other quite well. She couldn't see that right now, all she could comprehend was that Theo didn't think that she could do what he did, maybe he thought he was better than her. 

"What do you mean how? How can it possibly make sense!?" She asked, tone sharpened with irritation and exasperation. "How can it be safe for you, and not for me!? That. Doesn't. Make. Sense!" Her anger was irrational and she knew it, but as sweet as Mali was sometimes she just felt sour and quarrelsome. As the person she felt most comfortable with, Theo was going to bear the brunt of it. She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as she worked to soften her demeanor and relax. With a deep, calming breath that came out as more of a sigh, Mali felt a tiny bit better when she opened her eyes again. Her shoulders relaxed and voice was milder. "I don't understand, we could see each other more. You wouldn't have to come to the spell damage unit to see me at work." And she wouldn't be trapped up there, maybe a little part of this new idea was selfish.

Now it was time for Theo to claim she wasn't making sense. She huffed and rolled her eyes. "If I'm good at what I'm doing, I can be good at what you're doing. It's almost the same thing." Sort've. For half a second she thought he wouldn't take her hand, his arms were crossed and the look on his face gave her little feelings of guilt but most of that eased away with his grin. When Theo took her hand, Mali moved to climb into his lap, pulling his arms around her as she leaned her back against him. Maybe the closeness would wipe away all her agitated feelings, he was certainly warm and this way he could still have her fingers and she wouldn't have to look at the less pleasant expressions on his face.

Mali stayed quiet when he said she was the better Healer. She was enamored with Theo's ability to heal people. From his actual skill to his bedside manner, all of it. She would tell people that, too. But admitting that would give more power to his argument against her changing positions. When he brought up the Eye, though... That was a low blow. Mali sat up again and twisted around to pull away and face him, an incredulous and angry look written across her face. "So I'm good, but only under certain conditions. Thanks, that's a brilliant thing to say. Makes me feel loads better." Mali stood up, leaving Theo all together. She didn't want to be close to him anymore, his words actually stung very uncomfortably. She may have been overly sensitive but she met his poorly thought out statement with equally poorly thought out sarcasm.

"You know," Mali started, whipping back around to face him while brandishing an accusing finger. "That's really unfair of you. The Eye was different, and since then I've done a lot. I patched up Mister Lupin several times, sometimes without magic. I did that, not you. I kept my head and healed him." Mostly, there was a few moments of panic after the eclipse, but they'd all made it through. Knowing that, Mali sank back down on the edge of the bed again, looking defeated and feeling sick to her stomach. "You're really important to me, your vote of confidence is one of the only ones that matter and you won't give me that." She dropped her head into her hands with a weary sigh. "I know I can do this, why don't you?"

Make sure she was safe? Somehow, this made it feel less like a relationship and more like... something else. The fact she could always depend on him, the fact he made her feel secure were just a few of her favorite things about him but to have it thrown in her face like that made Mali angry. "You're not my father." Although her dads would probably stand behind Theo, nodding along to everything he was saying if given the chance. "It's not your job to keep me safe. You're my boyfriend. We're s'posed to be a partnership, not something where you have to babysit me." If Mali wasn't so clouded with anger and stubborness, she would see what he was trying to do and would have found it sweet but poor Theo was going about it all wrong. Instead of making her feel like he cared, he was making her feel like he didn't trust her to take care of herself. That he thought so little of her abilities.

For a tender, quiet moment it looked like they could get through this just fine. They didn't talk, Theo played with her hands and she enjoyed the embrace. They were a whirlwind, going from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes. All the angry words only seconds ago was forgiven thanks to a little bit of warmth and the steady sound of Theo's breathing as she rested back against him. Until, of course, the conversation started again. It seemed like every time the tall man troll opened his mouth he was sticking his foot in it. They weren't necessarily unkind at face value but she took great offense to what they possibly implied. She was only good sometimes, don't you remember the eye? You have to think fast.

"So you think I'm slow, then?" All of her insecurities were pouring out for him to see. Mali knew she wasn't anything spectacular with most magic, but she didn't like to be reminded of it. She also knew that she was no Ravenclaw and would never be on that level, but to be slow? Mali wanted to be better at magic, she wanted to be smarter. Theo deserved someone who was better and smarter, just like him. She might have been standing just a foot or two physically from Theo, but she was miles away from him. There had never been so much space between the two. Not even when they were looking for space.

The word 'brilliant' struck a nerve in exactly the wrong way. She snapped, shaking her head and waving it off. "Shut up! You just called me slow, you don't get to try and placate me with words like 'Brilliant'. Make up your mind, Theo! I'm either 'brilliant' in which case you have no reason to be angry, or I'm slow. Why are you even with me then if I'm so stupid!? Can't you find someone more on your intellectual level!?" There was a comment on the tip of her tongue, something about trolls and their terrible IQs but Mali just wasn't cruel enough to say it out loud. This was all stress, of course. Need and stress. She needed to reach more people, she was worried about the current condition of the wizarding world and the political climate. Deep down she knew that Theo didn't think she was stupid, she knew that he loved her, and she knew that he was probably the sweetest and most genuine man she'd ever met but acknowledging any of that would acknowledge that he had a point.

And he couldn't have a point. She planned this out, Remus thought it was clever. Mali was so sure she could do this, and she practically just begged Theo for his confidence (without actually saying it) and he still couldn't give it to her. He wanted her to stay in the spell damage unit. There was a very painful and hollow feeling in her chest and she was starting to crumble. Mali knew when the conversation started that she would end up in tears, but she fought against them valiantly 'til the urge to cry far was overwhelming. His distinct lack of confidence, even when asked, was the last straw. Tears ran down her cheeks as she stood up again and looked around for her boots. "I don't believe you right now." she told him, sniffling and voice cracking with tears. Crying made her feel like such a little girl, something she firmly asserted that she wasn't minutes ago and they only frustrated her. "You think I'm stupid, you don't think I can take care of myself. You can't even support me when I'm practically asking for you to do it. I don't--- I can't be here right now. I need to go home."