Hogwarts
School Healer
Creature Task Force - Registrar
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21 years old
Hufflepuff Alumnus
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Mali Johar on Dec 26, 2016 4:03:46 GMT
Remus,
First of all I want to apologize for doing this on Christmas. I know it's incredibly unkind of me but it's something that I have to do before I lose my nerve and I can feel my resolve weakening as I write.
Things have gotten really foggy for me lately and really clear at the same time. There are things I know, like the fact that you're very special to me, but there are things I'm still trying to figure out. I don't know the extent of the 'specialness'. I know I love you, but I also know that it's not in the same way that I love Theo or even Eoin. It's different. I know that you have feelings too. It's not our fault, we've both were put in pretty awful situations and it's only natural that something grew out of it. I don't think it would've grown quite as much for you if you hadn't lost your wife. You were lonely and I was there. I don't think it's all of that... but I know that had a lot to do with it. It's also the reason that this is so much harder.
I love you, but I'm in love with Theo. Madly in love, and it's the most beautiful madness. I feel like the confusion that surrounds you might hurt him and as you've been in love, you can imagine how devastating the thought of hurting him is. I can't even breathe when I think about it. I think what you and I need is a little bit of space, a little distance. This distance has a practical application as well, I've stepped into a position at the Ministry and to keep away suspicion I don't think that we can be seen as friends in public.
And we are still friends, you'll always be my friend. You're a wonderful and kind man and I'm honored to know someone like you. I just need a little space to get my head on straight and figure out how to set aside that special bond and be your friend. It won't be too long, I promise. And I'll still see you before and after the full moon, if you'll let me.
Please don't be angry with me, I don't think I can adequately describe how much that would hurt. I feel very selfish but I think this is in your best interest as well. You can't properly grieve if I'm up in your head, confusing it. You deserve to fall in love with someone because they make your heart feel funny in the most wonderful way, because they ignite something inside of you, not just because they are the perfect distraction from your grief. You wouldn't find that if you're tangled up with me.
-Mali
________________________________________ Remus Lupin |
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Dec 27, 2016 3:33:33 GMT
Dear Mali,
I don't suppose there's much left for me to say, as you've said it all. You've even conveniently told me how I felt and how I should feel, so I don't have to bother with it - how very kind of you. You want space, you've got it. Terribly sorry to have caused you any trouble. I would just hate to inconvenience you any further, so you may continue to use me for your project and whatever else it is you need from me. I am just a lonely old man after all, what else have I got to do?
My very best,
Remus
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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| |
44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Dec 27, 2016 3:36:47 GMT
Mali -
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that. I think I'm justified in feeling hurt, but you're right - you have me very confused. A little space is probably best. I hope you had a merry Christmas.
- Remus
P.S. I mean it about the full moons. If anything, it helps me as much as it helps you.
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Hogwarts
School Healer
Creature Task Force - Registrar
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21 years old
Hufflepuff Alumnus
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Mali Johar on Dec 27, 2016 4:42:43 GMT
I can forgive the inconvenience if you can forgive the fact that my heartfelt plea for understanding apparently came off as emotionally bossy
You're playing the role of mean old man very well.
You're not being very fair.
Mister Lupin,
Remus,
Mister Lupin,
I wrote you a letter telling you that I care for you very much, how highly I think of you and that's what you write back? I understand that you would be hurt, I was unfortunately expecting it... But for you to be cruel? I never expected that. Not from you, not while I was being honest and vulnerable and hurting. I thought you were too good for that but I apparently don't know you all that well.
I find this very suprising, considering how much time we spent together while I was under house arrest thanks to you.
Although maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe you're not cruel at all. It is very kind and gracious of you to allow us to 'Use' you as you put it, in exchange for a very difficult and expensive potion that Eoin and I have risked a lot to brew. You agree that space is needed, so I'll be sending Eoin to run the 'project' alone as I don't want to accidentally slip up and 'tell you how you feel' again. Do you think it would affect the results too much if we changed up the sort of baked good we bring the morning after while we're helping you patch up? I mean, that's obviously a very important component of the project, surely we don't do that out of the kindness of our hearts.
I started to write you telling you that you weren't being very fair but if I've learned anything from this past year is that life isn't fair. Why should I expect anything different from you?
-Mali.
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