Big Things and Big Changes // Remus
Feb 8, 2017 15:50:32 GMT
Post by Mali Johar on Feb 8, 2017 15:50:32 GMT
Remus,
Remember the last time we wrote letters? It was the start of something really big. I didn't anticipate how much that 'big thing' would start to take over my life. It became an obsession for awhile, and everything I did was an attempt to try and make it bigger and better but I think I've gotten in a little bit over my head. I've sat back and thought about it, and I realize that I've nearly ruined my relationship over it several times through silly fights that didn't need to happen and I've put my own life at risk more than once by taking a position that I'm really not cut out for. Not just my life, but the life of people who had to intervene on my behalf.
That's not an entirely fair statement. It wasn't just the 'big thing' that drove me into the position of Medi-Witch. Healing is my passion, but being up on the same floor day in and day out where Mister Longbottom and Mister Fischer lost their lives was very draining. I could pretend for awhile that it didn't bother me so much, but that was one of the biggest (definitely not the biggest, obviously...) lies I've ever told. So when the idea for an escape came along, I jumped on it without thinking it through. I had to get away from that floor. Another floor wouldn't work well, I don't think. With the position of Medi-Witch I could get away from my coworkers and the judgement behind their eyes. Healers take the welfare and dignity of their patients very seriously and can you imagine how difficult it is to be someone who was not only involved in their deaths, but to have left them alone, laying on the floor? There is no dignity in that, and I don't think I can ever regain the respect of some of them. That's hard enough to cope with, but to have it shoved in my face every day was something I couldn't cope with forever.
But Medi-Witch is not a good fit for me, I realized it the other day while working with Theo. He is phenomenal at it. He started the career later in life than most, but I really feel like that's what he's born to do. If one thing good came out of the position change, watching him work has been absolutely delightful to see him immersed in his natural element. But I'm not. I've been really stressed out lately and the other day was really the last straw. I snapped and quit on the spot. I quit St. Mungo's all together.
It was sort've meant to be, I think. Hogwarts was looking for a Healer, I was suddenly in need of a Healing job. I'm still going to work at the Ministry, because I can't abandon my 'big thing' all together but I'm feeling pretty positive about taking the position at the school. I think it will fit just as well as Specialist did. Anyway, this was a really long winded letter to tell you that we're going to be sort of coworkers now and that we're still on for our monthly drink date with Eoin. He's got some ideas to make them a little easier to drink and with a little less hangover after. Who'd have thought a potioneer would be such a good bar tender?
Your Favorite Friend,
Mali
Remember the last time we wrote letters? It was the start of something really big. I didn't anticipate how much that 'big thing' would start to take over my life. It became an obsession for awhile, and everything I did was an attempt to try and make it bigger and better but I think I've gotten in a little bit over my head. I've sat back and thought about it, and I realize that I've nearly ruined my relationship over it several times through silly fights that didn't need to happen and I've put my own life at risk more than once by taking a position that I'm really not cut out for. Not just my life, but the life of people who had to intervene on my behalf.
That's not an entirely fair statement. It wasn't just the 'big thing' that drove me into the position of Medi-Witch. Healing is my passion, but being up on the same floor day in and day out where Mister Longbottom and Mister Fischer lost their lives was very draining. I could pretend for awhile that it didn't bother me so much, but that was one of the biggest (definitely not the biggest, obviously...) lies I've ever told. So when the idea for an escape came along, I jumped on it without thinking it through. I had to get away from that floor. Another floor wouldn't work well, I don't think. With the position of Medi-Witch I could get away from my coworkers and the judgement behind their eyes. Healers take the welfare and dignity of their patients very seriously and can you imagine how difficult it is to be someone who was not only involved in their deaths, but to have left them alone, laying on the floor? There is no dignity in that, and I don't think I can ever regain the respect of some of them. That's hard enough to cope with, but to have it shoved in my face every day was something I couldn't cope with forever.
But Medi-Witch is not a good fit for me, I realized it the other day while working with Theo. He is phenomenal at it. He started the career later in life than most, but I really feel like that's what he's born to do. If one thing good came out of the position change, watching him work has been absolutely delightful to see him immersed in his natural element. But I'm not. I've been really stressed out lately and the other day was really the last straw. I snapped and quit on the spot. I quit St. Mungo's all together.
It was sort've meant to be, I think. Hogwarts was looking for a Healer, I was suddenly in need of a Healing job. I'm still going to work at the Ministry, because I can't abandon my 'big thing' all together but I'm feeling pretty positive about taking the position at the school. I think it will fit just as well as Specialist did. Anyway, this was a really long winded letter to tell you that we're going to be sort of coworkers now and that we're still on for our monthly drink date with Eoin. He's got some ideas to make them a little easier to drink and with a little less hangover after. Who'd have thought a potioneer would be such a good bar tender?
Your Favorite Friend,
Mali
