The Talk

The sun had to do a lot more than peek in to wake Theo up - it was more often screaming and shouting through the window by the time he blinked and yawned his way into consciousness. Theo was an extremely heavy sleeper - not surprising, most trolls were - but there was one thing even the loudest snores and deepest dreams stood no chance against: Mali's persistence. That little poke in his side cut straight through a thousand layers of sleepy fog, straight to his consciousness. The whispers of his name dragged him up through this new column of weak early morning light, and soon enough, a bleary Mali was swimming into Theo's newfound vision.

Alright, he was awake. But he wasn't ready to move yet. He stayed just as he was, looking at Mali, trying very hard to listen to what she was saying but his systems were still booting up at this point. Was she really asking him questions, right now? Theo loved every little piece of Mali - her curiosity, her openness, even her bright-eyed tendency to rise with the sun (she was especially adorable in this light) - but there was no way she could expect him to give a straight answer right now. At least give him five minutes.

Or...just ask the exact right questions. At the sheer volume at which she was asking them, even sleepy Theo was able to catch on to what she was on about - and it was very...awakening. Not Theo's ideal time to have this conversation, but one he'd been wanting to have. Questions that plagued his thoughts more and more every day. He sat up a bit as Mali was still talking, propping himself up on an elbow and leaning his head against his fist. Mali's rambles always made him smile; and even more so now, because he especially loved this topic and the fact that she was thinking about it too, and apparently with some urgency (she didn't wake him up all the time just to talk). He loved Mali to death. Not having her in his life at this point was inconceivable. He wanted everything with her, all of it, now and forever.

"Okay," he laughed sleepily when she finally took a breath, resting his free hand on her hip. "Okay. Let's start with the dog and work backward. I think we should do it." He grinned broadly. This felt like a phase change between him and Mali, something deeper, and he was feeling all sorts of happiness in his chest for so early in the morning. "We can just call him Junior...let's go tonight." It was way too early in the day to be making plans, too, but Theo's mind was thoroughly entrenched in the future right now. A future that he could share with Mali. He moved his hand up to her face, stroking his thumb along her jaw. "All that other stuff...do you feel like you're ready?" He was. "Do you really want to live with me? It would be really nice to see each other every day." Theo thought this was an easier decision for him. He wasn't getting any younger and Mali was by far the most important person he'd ever met in his life. She was younger than him, though, quite a bit. Things were so comfortable between them now that - no matter how badly he wanted it - he hesitated to push forward. They had time, didn't they?

Smart. Mali made him grin while he talked. He wouldn't call it smarts, just an uncanny ability to hang onto her every word even in these wretched (and sweet, very sweet) early morning hours. Theo always listened to everything Mali said because, really, she was the smart one and he would be smart not to miss any of it. "Junior still fits...Mali Junior." The image of a hyperactive little Mali dog gave him the morning giggles, deepened when Mali added an image of a Theo dog next to it. He was shaking the bed with his laughter, his sleepy brain not quite caught up with reality yet and not in any rush to get there. "Yeah, me and puppies kind of have the unbearably cute thing in common," he teased, wrinkling his nose.

These mornings really were more sweet than wretched (even though Theo really did not like mornings and being awake in them); his and Mali's usual of going from sweet to silly to sweet just made more sense in this kind of light and silence. His giggles relaxed into a smile as he peppered her with questions this time and she answered. Theo didn't hate those answers. They sounded like they were on the same page, really, wanting this forever and also realizing forever was a long ways away. They had time. Theo took his hand back down and pulled Mali closer to him. "I want that all with you too, but I think you're right. We're already doing it. I don't think we need to force anything. We just let it happen when it does." He laughed again, softly, at Mali's suggestion for their living arrangements. "You, me, and Eoin? In your tiny little flat? I can barely stand up in the thing." He kissed her nose. "We could get our own place, you know."

"Oh, but it's fine if we name the dog after me," Theo said in mock affront, laughing far too much to pull it off at all. And being kissed far too much to care about anything else at all. Despite the possibility of morning breath, he couldn't help but sneak a peck up on Mali's mouth when she was done with his nose; not that he had to be fast, she wasn't going anywhere. She settled in nicely against him and in this moment, the very thought that anything could ever go wrong for them seemed absurd. Everything felt so right. The world was out to get them, for sure, but always together - never separate.

Theo landed another kiss, marking a change in their little morning rendezvous, falling from silly to a little more serious. He knew they couldn't just kiss and cuddle forever. They couldn't even stay in this bed forever, and not just because they had to get up and go to work in a few minutes. If they were going to move forward together, they had to decide what got left behind. Mali was adamant that Eoin was not one of those things. Theo liked Eoin, he did, and he liked that the little pharmacist made Mali so happy. Theo had no intention of leaving Eoin behind, either; maybe just...moving him out of the way a little bit. Just a little. Theo searched Mali's face pensively as she spoke, her love for her best friend so bright and evident Theo almost felt guilty for wanting to live with his girlfriend on their own. "I wouldn't mind living in London," he conceded. "It'd be different. I think it would be nice to live in the city...with the occasional pedicure."

Oh, no. Mali knew exactly how convincing she could be, touching him like that. Theo would agree to damn near anything. He kissed her again, on her thumb, and smiled at her. "Mm...and Eoin would have no problem rolling over and joining us from his bed that's five feet away," Theo said a bit guiltily behind his smile. He ran his fingers along Mali's spine, because two could play at that game. "What if it was just me and you, our own little place? Eoin could be our neighbor or something. Or...I dunno. Are you happy? With how things are now? It sounds like we both have things keeping us where we are."

"Sounds pretty darn cute to me," Theo persisted just for the sake of it, just to keep them both laughing a bit longer. "Maybe a cat. Mali Cat." The dog was a done deal, whatever his name was. Other things, not so much. The combination of waking up with the growing feeling of uncertainty Theo felt in his gut was not really a pleasant one. He tried to stuff it away under more cuddles and many kisses, but it was getting harder to ignore with every word they spoke. He wasn't uncertain about what he wanted, he knew he wanted to be with Mali forever, just uncertain about how they were going to get there. That was nerve-wracking in its own way.

"I do like food," he agreed, latching onto the things he could agree to and putting the others away for future consideration. At the mention of food and eating, Mali's stomach growled. Theo smiled at her. "Do you have time to eat before you have to go? I can make us breakfast." It shouldn't be hard to convince the little Hufflepuff to live with him if he plied her with enough food, right? The weekly pedicures, though...well. "We'll see. I don't even look at my toes that often." They weren't anything special to look at, and he didn't think different colored toenails every week would change that that much.

"I know," he said, smugly, when Mali pulled him in even closer. "I'm doing it on purpose." He grinned, because she was, too. They both knew how convincing the other could be, and that's what made these conversations so high-stakes. They both knew what they wanted and would both work very hard to get it. Usually, that was fine, because they wanted the exact same thing. Now, that definition was a little blurrier. Same thing, different ways. "If we had our own place, we could have a bigger bed. And - more pets." He knew what Mali liked. Theo was still grinning at his own cleverness when she suddenly pulled away from him, the empty space left between them like that first too-sharp sunbeam through a morning window. Theo sighed and hauled himself up to sit, too. "I didn't say that. I've spent the last ten minutes telling you I do. I just mean, I have my family. I have things I like about living here. And you seem pretty content with your living situation at the moment. So...why give that up, if one of us ends up unhappy?"

"There will most definitely be waffles involved," Theo nodded, bopping Mali on the nose and smiling at her. "My little sneak." Mali could certainly be sneaky when she wanted to be, in all sorts of ways. One way was in which she was somehow, miraculously, convincing Theo that a pedicure didn't sound half bad. "You're the only one I want appreciating my toes," he laughed, bending a leg so he could attack Mali's wiggly toes with his. "And I suppose I could paint them, just for you." And make sure to wear thick socks whenever he was around anybody else.

Theo thought this was a pretty big compromise on his part, and he was ready to drop the rest and get back to cuddles and, eventually, waffles. They were knocked off that trajectory, though, when the cuddles ended abruptly. Theo felt a sort of hollowness at the sudden loss of warmth. "If you have to leave Eoin, you'd be unhappy. And if I'm so cramped I can barely breathe, I'd be unhappy. I just think those are dealbreakers for us." He tried to explain, but he'd said something wrong and Mali was stuck on it. Unhappy was a bad choice of word - it was more like...irritated, like they were both leanin toward now. "You're missing my point. I'd be happy if you were with me 24/7, but it's just you I want. Not your whole apartment. I want something that's just ours." He shrugged, unwilling to budge on that point.

Theo was an idiot, a plain idiot. He had Mali right where he wanted her, playing with his hair (his favorite feeling on Earth) and telling him sweet things, and very soon he would have waffles...but he had to go and ruin it all by being the stubborn ass he was born to be. He could tell Mali was getting upset, and while he still thought he had a valid point, there was no point in pressing it so much if she was just going to get upset. There was plenty of time for arguing later, but only a limited amount of remaining time in which to eat waffles together. But no. He couldn't stop, couldn't ever stop once he was bristled enough.

And when Mali traveled from just being upset to genuinely questioning their relationship, it only got worse for Theo. If there was anything he liked less than being emotional, it was being serious - this early in the morning, at least. He needed waffles before answering any questions, thanks. He made a point of yawning widely as he thought about how the hell to answer Mali's question. "What do you mean, what are we doing?" Asking one of his own seemed the best way to avoid that. "We're sitting in bed, when he could be eating waffles." He pushed the covers off of him like he was going to get up, but didn't move. "I think we work just fine."

Didn't move because Mali was back against him and the flood of her heat rewired his brain. He reached an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him. "I want it all. With you. Have I given you any reason to doubt that? All I'm saying is, maybe it's not the right time. For this conversation, or for moving in together. I feel like we've finally been allowed to settle into this, us, and maybe we're just meant to enjoy that for a little while."