Safety

Theo could actually feel the exhaustion seeping through his veins as he stretched out on a couch in the break room - a slow, pulsing lull that pushed him into the cushions. He'd pushed his body further than it could go today - but his mind, his mind was still racing. Even as he tried shutting his eyes, just for a few minutes, he knew there was no hope in shutting his brain off right now. He was still in full emergency mode even though the worst of it had happened hours ago.

It was almost the end of his normal shift when they got the call, some residential potion explosion. But no, not just some random residence...by the time the address clicked in Theo's brain, he'd almost let another couple of Medi-Wizards take the call, maybe get off a little bit early. But then he recognized the address as Mali's and he yanked the Medi-Wizards back into being by their robes before they could Disapparate (thankfully not causing any splinching, but maybe a couple of bruised tailbones). Despite the way his gut turned to frozen lead at the thought of what he might find at Mali's apartment, he would be damned if he was going to let anybody else but him find it.

He brought his partner for the day, of course, not completely abandoning protocol (he acted just a little bit safer these days when it came to his job). The man Apparated a few moments after him, sensibly bringing along the supply bag Theo forgot. Mali had medical supplies in her apartment...but who knew what would be left of the place?

The building was thankfully still in one piece...Mali was, too, but some of her pieces were sticking out at the wrong angles. And she was unconscious, burned, and bleeding. Theo cleaned her up and applied first aid as best he could, his mind slipping into that aloof state that allowed him to be so good at his job. He wouldn't be able to bear this otherwise. He didn't need to think about how the last thing he'd said to Mali had been very far from I love you, or how her most recent memories of him were bitter and unhappy.

He didn't think about it, not at Mali's house or once they got her to the hospital. He didn't think about it as he hovered in her room, being chased out over and over again by the Healers because he was much too big to hover. He ran all over the hospital for them, not thinking. Eventually they told him to go home, his shift had ended hours ago. Instead, Theo went to the break room to not think and to wait for Mali to wake up. While his face might not be friendly to her right now, if he knew the woman at all, she would need a familiar face when she realized where exactly she was waking up.

Theo's rest lasted all of five minutes. Then he hauled himself off the couch and wandered back up to Mali's room, arriving at her door just in time to hear her scream - in pain or in terror, he wasn't sure. He shouldered through the door and found Mali on the floor, cowering by the wall. The sight of it sent poisonous shards cutting through his chest cavity, making him choke back a desperate sound. Gone was the aloofness, the not thinking. They were no longer Medi-Wizard and patient, but Theo and Mali. And Theo couldn't stand to see Mali like this, to ever let her feel like this again. No matter what else they had, they would always have their shared, torturous past and the sometimes suffocating realization that no one else would ever understand.

Theo nodded hastily at Mali's pleading, searching the room for Mali's wand. He spotted it on the counter and retrieved in a few long steps, turning on his heel to crouch down beside Mali and put it in her hand. "There. Hold onto it, okay?" Her Healers would probably not be happy with their armed patient, but Theo understood that having that sense of security and wholeness from her wand was as good for her health as any potion or spell. He blinked at Mali, looking at her for a thoughtful moment, and then held his arms out on either side of her, not yet touching her. "I don't remember putting you down here. Can I put you back in your bed?"

Theo only nodded at Mali's thanks, watching her closely. Taking in how much pain she was in, physically and emotionally. She looked like she might cry and that stilled Theo completely, didn't let him move an inch away from her. No matter if he was causing some of that pain by being there, he couldn't stand to see Mali like this. And if he couldn't comfort her the way he wanted to, he had to do something for her. Anything at all. He gave her her wand and tried to get her back in bed. "I see," he said, smiling just a little bit when she explained why she was on the floor. He chewed at the inside of his lip for a moment before asking, "Nightmare?"

Mali held on to him while he helped her back to her bed and Theo had to use everything in him not to just scoop her up in his arms. He had to let her do some of it herself - mostly just because that's who Mali was, but also because holding her in his arms felt just a little inappropriate at the moment. She hadn't chased him out of the room yet but Theo's doubts and insecurities were growing stronger by the second. How much longer would she let him stay? He'd gotten what he needed, to see that she was awake - but immediately he knew he needed more. He needed Mali, all of her. He needed her back. He sure picked a hell of a time to feel all that.

Mali got settled back in the bed and Theo lingered for as long as it felt natural. Just checking on his patient, making sure she was comfortable. He waited for her to say something. It wouldn't be fair of him, right now, to pile all his emotional burdens on her. But maybe she would say something. Theo moved to pat her hand, to reassure her and leave, but then Mali was grabbing onto his sleeve and he lurched forward as if she'd used all her strength to pull him to the edge of the bed. He locked his gaze on her as her request washed over him. He began to nod, shifting his hand into hers so he could squeeze it before perching on the very edge of the bed. "Of course not." His gaze fell away from her face for a moment, taking in her injuries. He started chewing on his lip again. After a quiet pause, he looked back up at her. "Do...you want to talk?"

"You got that right," Theo sighed before helping Mali to the bed. This place was a nightmare. The kind of nightmare where you had to pick people you loved up off the floor and watch them fall apart, over and over again. Theo wanted to wake up. Now that Mali was awake, he knew that was what he wanted. He wanted to wake up and fix what he had broken.

And Mali didn't push him away. That was good, so good that Theo felt like shouting. He settled for smiling instead, scooting so at least half of him was on the bed when Mali made room for him. She didn't want to talk, she said, but she did make room for him. That was okay with Theo. He wasn't very good at talking, anyway, but he did take up a lot of room and if Mali only wanted his presence right now -well, he had a lot of it. He sat next to her and stared off somewhere in the vicinity of her shins.

The silence didn't last as long as one would expect with someone who didn't want to talk - but it lasted exactly long enough for what Theo expected of Mali (not really the silent type, her). He would have laughed if her request hadn't been so heartbreaking. She'd only just gotten here, but she was so desperate to leave. Theo didn't blame her. "Yeah," he said without a second thought, meeting her eyes. "Maybe rest just a little while longer? So you can walk a little better?" He glanced at the door and thought for a long moment. "Bah, I don't think I'll even bother to ask. You are a Healer, after all." He looked back at Mali. "And you've got me."

Mali surprisingly agreed without much of a fight at all, which just served to hurt Theo's heart further. He was in no place to tell her what to do or make her stay somewhere she didn't want to be - but he couldn't help but feel she was doing it, at least a little bit, for him. Compromising with him even if she looked ready to crawl out of her skin to get out of this place. Theo was her ticket out of here if she wanted to leave sooner rather than later, and he could practically feel the effort she was putting into accepting that.

He was feeling something else, too. Mali wasn't just using him to get out of the hospital, even a troll could see that. They were inching closer together by the second, as if they literally could not stay away from each other, like magnets. Theo supposed that made a lot of sense - opposites attract, and all. He and Mali had a lot in common, but they also had some pretty significant differences. Parts of themselves that they fulfilled in the other. That was just undeniable - just as it was really, really hard to deny that they were practically made for each other. Being this close again, after so long, made it really hard to forget that.

"Well yeah, but only because you left," Theo responded, the hint of a grin on his face. He was growing positively lightheaded with the closeness, and when Mali leaned into him, his arm automatically scooped around her back. He was gentle, because of her injuries, but even this little touch was better than anything he had felt in weeks. It made him feel brave. He placed the lightest of kisses on the top of Mali's head when it presented itself to him, a natural and instinctive response. An unspoken response, too, of how badly he missed her. It was all hitting him now in surges and waves, the terrible mistakes he'd made over these past weeks - all summed up in Mali's one simple question.

"I don't know," he said, but he shook his head right after he said it. That wasn't right - he did know, he just didn't know how to say it. That was the whole issue here, the issue of Theo's life - lacking the words to explain just what it was he felt inside. Sometimes he wished he could just rip his head open so people could see what a mes it was up there. "You scare me, Mali." He kissed the top of her head again. "In the best way possible. Knowing how much I need you scares me. Knowing how easily I could lose you scares me. That morning, at least, it was almost like this weird in-between thing we were in was almost preferable, just because that didn't terrify the absolute living shit out of me." He paused, that faintest of grins reappearing again. Language. "Sorry. Does that make any sense? I'm not trying to make any excuses, and now I see how bloody stupid I was - for what it's worth."