Hogwarts
School Healer
Creature Task Force - Registrar
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21 years old
Hufflepuff Alumnus
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Mali Johar on Oct 3, 2017 3:34:43 GMT
Doorsteps. Every major change in their relationship came down to doorsteps. It started when Remus found her sobbing over a runaway cat on her own doorstep. Their bond was forged , stronger than steel, when he showed up on her door step a few more times, torn apart and needing to be put back together. That same bond was later threatened when Mali was coming apart at the seams, blurring lines and crossing boundaries. The other night, Remus was back on her door step and their relationship nearly broke in half. Now, Mali was on his doorstep once more because it all came down to doorsteps.
It was time to deliver his potion and Mali wasn't sure if her presence would be expected or wanted, but she was a loyal beast. She considered setting the potion on his doorstep, giving his door a good knock and then leaving so she didn't have to face him (she wasn't feeling very well, anyway.) but like the witch who helped brew it, the potion was very sensitive. She needed to make sure that it wasn't left to sit for too long. Besides, she didn't really know what she was feeling anymore. Mali wanted to be angry at Remus for dragging her into his mess. She was complicit in his crime of illegally modifying the memory of non magical men by standing aside and letting it happen, just like she was complicit in Theo's crime a year ago. It was hard to be mad, because Remus was sadly right about those muggle men. And truthfully she would've gotten involved once the truth was clear but it should have been on her terms.
So Mali stood on Remus' doorstep and knocked, carrying a small cauldron full of potion. There was a sick feeling in her stomach and her heart was racing, but she was sure that was nerves. It seemed like ages before he was at the door. The witch was chewing on her lower lip when Remus showed up and she met his eyes for a long, quiet moment. Mali was unprepared, nothing to say. It wasn't often that she was speechless and the feeling was very uncomfortable. Should she apologize? Yell at him for getting her tangled up in his illicit activities without her consent? Finally she settled on one word, "Here." while stiffly holding up the cauldron for him.
When he took it she should've turned and left but her feet had turned to cement, too heavy to force them to carry her away. Mali wanted to say something, to mend what was broken. Instead she settled on something to stall while she sulked. "We haven't added anything new this month, but it still needs to be kept over a medium heat or it'll degrade." This month they were working something else, making a potion completely of their own creation and they were in the testing phase. So far it had been pretty ineffective and it tasted awful, no need to get excited. "I could help you set it up, if you'd like."
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Oct 5, 2017 22:47:38 GMT
Remus knew Mali would come. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't, but he just knew she would show up on his doorstep today, same day and time as always. She was loyal as hell and it made him feel terrible, because what had he done recently to maintain that loyalty? The exact opposite of what one should do to a friend. He'd forced her into a situation she wanted nothing to do with, and he'd put her in danger. At least she knew now that he wasn't crazy, wasn't making things up about the Muggles...but that was a small consolation. Remus knew he'd done a very shitty thing to his friend, and he knew that friend would still show up on his doorstep to help him anyway.
He tried to keep his mind off of how bad he felt by being stubborn, instead. As he waited for Mali he worked on the investigation and considered what good things could possibly come of this. He and Mali had fought pretty nastily that night...but it didn't feel like the end. He knew that Mali knew he was right, and he had faith that she would come around eventually. Not only was Mali loyal, she was smart. Surely she wouldn't just try to avoid this forever. Surely. If he knew Mali at all, she wouldn't be able to. He just had to try to avoid destroying their relationship completely in the meantime.
For completely practical reasons, as well. Remus valued and cherished Mali as a great friend...but he also really relied on her for her potion making skills. He was already feeling the impending full moon and when she came a knocking, it took him a couple of stiff-legged minutes to get to the front door. His heart was racing by the time he got there - but that was definitely less because of the physical effort, and more the sudden rush of seeing a person he'd yelled at the last time he'd seen them.
They were quiet at first. As sorry as Remus felt, he still felt vindicated. He needed to know that Mali had learned before he started apologizing - even if that was wrong, both things felt equally as important to him. Their friendship had withstood worse, he thought, surely it would survive through this.
"Thank you," Remus took the still-warm cauldron and cradled it in his arms, the heat soothing his ever-achy hands. He nodded through her directions, and then stood quietly to see what she would do. He murmured a quiet, "Please," when she offered to help him set it up, and stood aside to let her in. He trailed into the kitchen, setting the cauldron down near the stove. "Here's fine for now." He usually kept it and his other potions on a small burner down in the cellar - to prevent tampering by tiny twin hands - but he wasn't going to make Mali go down there right now. "Everything alright at home?" The quiet was starting to bother Remus - he usually preferred quiet, but with Mali quiet felt like a weapon - and that seemed like a casual enough question. She could start talking, or they could go through the niceties. Still her choice.
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Hogwarts
School Healer
Creature Task Force - Registrar
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21 years old
Hufflepuff Alumnus
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Mali Johar on Oct 6, 2017 4:57:25 GMT
A hundred apologies bubbled up when she stared at Remus. Sorry for doubting him, sorry for treating him like a child with a wild imagination, sorry for threatening to go to the Ministry on him. Those apologies were muted out by the residual anger that felt like a dull heat radiating through her limbs. Or was that from the cauldron she was clutching like a life line?
"You're welcome." was the only phrase that managed to get through the conflict on the tip of her tongue. That was that. She'd done what she came to do, deliver the potion. She should see it all through, though. Make sure it got set up correctly or the whole thing would be useless. The dance of nerves and uncertainty all over a ruined potion. Remus was more than qualified to heat his own potions but it felt right to offer. He accepted so softly she almost missed it. Mali shuffled after him through the kitchen. It was a familiar place, something Mali found comforting. Like nothing had changed.
Eoin would drop dead if he saw where his precious potion was going, to simmer on a stove and not on a proper potion burner. The mental image was pretty amusing, coaxing the corner of her mouth up in half of a faint grin. She couldn't share with Remus why, Mali just set to work with the burner. She adjusted the temperature and waited a few minutes. Remus broke the silence finally but it rubbed against her nerves in exactly the wrong way. It felt like gloating, maybe... given where everything had happened. That he was right and she was wrong.
Mali didn't bother to look at him. She held her fingers over the burner, hovering to test the heat that was radiating off of the coil. "No muggles poking about, if that's what you're asking." Standing over the stove must've been getting to her because her head felt light and Mali rubbed at her eyes and shook her head as if it would chase the feeling away. She turned it down just a smidge, too hot for the potion anyway. "Except my dads will be there Sunday. Do you need to come investigate them too?" Remus and Gabriel could have themselves a little spy on her boring old muggle parents, Mali thought savagely. Why not? Never knew who would turn you in, did you?
That thought hit a chord with her and cooled down her anger as if it'd been doused in icewater. Mali finished her task, settling the cauldron on the stove before she turned finally to face Remus. She tucked a few stray strands behind her ear before asking "Are you still mad at me?" Asking such a thing made her feel like a small, vulnerable child but it was a very raw question. They could work backwards from that, into reasons before figuring out how to fix them.
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Hogwarts
Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor
Werewolf
Order of The Phoenix
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44 years old
Gryffindor Alumnus
Wandless Magic
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Mego
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Post by Remus Lupin on Oct 7, 2017 9:06:11 GMT
Silence and awkwardness would be the death of Remus and Mali's relationship, when they were so far gone that they could only manage a stiff politeness with one another. They weren't going to let that happen. It was impossible. If there was any hope at all for this relationship, the emotions would come bubbling up to the surface soon enough (maybe even conveniently timed with the reheating of the potion that brought them together). Even if it was anger, white hot and spitting, it had feeling to it. They could work with feeling. They couldn't work with silence.
Letting Mali inside and not turning her away at the door seemed like a good first step toward that resolution, so even if Remus knew perfectly well how to put heat to a potion, he was going to let Mali do it. It was an act that sort of comforting to him, too, just like the way Mali seemed to relax in the space of his old, familiar kitchen. Nothing was different, at the core of it. She still wanted to take care of him, he still needed her help.
And he was supposed to help her, too. That's how they worked. That's what they based their whole friendship on, for better or for worse. His question for her was genuine, but he cringed when she snapped back at him. The question wasn't entirely genuine, no. That gnawing feeling of selfishness was growing in Remus' gut, but he chased it away with stubbornness. He just needed to know - that Mali was on his side with this. He had done an awful thing to her that night but she had made some pretty awful threats herself, and even his complete trust in the woman had its caveats. "Muggles, trolls, sloppy werewolves...," Remus shrugged, and stopped himself. He still had hope they could avoid getting angry at one another again, and getting sassy wasn't going to help him. "I'm glad to hear that." Remus' eyebrows shot up when Mali suddenly brought up her dads. He had to hold himself very still to avoid any number of petulant responses, such as the extreme urge to sigh and roll his eyes. "I like your dads. I hope you understand it's not like that, I haven't just up and decided to hate all Muggles."
Mali finally turning back around to face him was, fittingly, a turning point in their conversation. He could sass and scold behind her back all he wanted but Remus was absolutely helpless against the vulnerable honesty Mali so often held in her expression. "No." That was the most important part, for the both of them. "I'm not mad. I'm the one that needs to start doing some apologizing here soon, actually." He tried to grin, but it was too sheepish to inspire much of anything good. "I think the word for what I am is frustrated, Mali. Or misunderstood. I feel like you're just not hearing me. Do you honestly think I'm crazy for this? Even after what happened?"
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Hogwarts
School Healer
Creature Task Force - Registrar
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21 years old
Hufflepuff Alumnus
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Trish
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Post by Mali Johar on Oct 8, 2017 1:37:20 GMT
It was very hard to be mad at Remus when he was being funny. Muggles, trolls and sloppy werewolves. Mali hung out with a stellar bunch, didn't she? The witch bit down on the tip of her tongue to prevent herself from returning quips because she was still pretty sour over everything he'd done. Sort've. Banter just felt inappropriate right now. Her question had hit Remus' nerve. They knew each other well enough to read each other's emotions even when they were being suppressed. The bite of her sarcasm wasn't as satisfying as Mali hoped for. It felt sort've rotten, to be honest. "They like you too.." She admitted quietly. No way did she believe he'd been twisted into a muggle hater, no better than a Death Eater. That wasn't who Remus was at all and she knew it but hearing him say it out loud was a relief, removing all doubt.
Mali was more relieved to hear that he wasn't mad. She listened to him speak, thinking hard about her own words. This all made her feel very dumb. For doubting Remus, for threatening him. They both needed to apologize but it didn't feel right to remind him of that right this second. "No. Of course not." Quiet again, unable to raise her voice up. The atmosphere felt somber, his attempt at a grin fell flat and fit right in. How did they get to this? Fear. Mali was afraid of what Remus' muggle investigation would mean. "I'm just..." What was the right word? Scared? Anxious? In denial? "I believe you, but I'm worried. It seems like muggles are always being pushed as the enemy. First Vol--You know. Him. He claimed muggleborns were just muggles who stole wands, now you're talking about muggle witch hunters."
She reached across the space between them and took Remus' hands into her own. "I'm also worried that you're getting in over your head." Mali held them in her own, running her thumbs over the back. "I've picked on your hands a bit, and it was awful but you weren't hearing me when I was concerned that you're not respecting your limitations. I'm frustrated too because you're jumping right into it without acknowledging that your magic isn't the same or that there's a very real possibility that this'll land you back in Azkaban. The Minister still doesn't like you. I guess I mean that I'm worried that you're not thinking of the risk."
The witch let go of the werewolves hands and looked up at him, biting down on her lower lip. "You didn't think of the risk the other night and now I've gotten dragged into it. I'm not mad, either." She wasn't completely sure about it 'til she said it out loud. "I just feel like I've done this before, if that makes sense?" Once Mali started talking about her feelings it was hard to stop, hard to let him get a word in edgewise. It all spilled out at once. "I've watched someone I care about hurt someone who couldn't defend themselves from it before and the other night I watched it again." Not physically, maybe. But Remus stole the memories of muggles, he hurt them in a way that they weren't even aware of and it all made her feel very sick.
"Sorry, I'm talking too much but I don't want to risk messing this up and us never talking again." Mali crossed her arms over her chest, looking back at the potion to give herself a break from watching and scrutinizing Remus' reactions. "I want to explain and I'm doing a really terrible job." Her attention snapped back to Remus with what suddenly felt very urgent. "You know I would never turn you in, right? I didn't mean it. I wouldn't... I just was desperate to make you stop because I didn't understand that they knew everything."
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