Luna'a Owl Service // Theo

Theo,

I don't know how to feel about there being people who want to help us. I want to feel good about it, but the fact that we have to think about it like that really hurts. It means that a majority of people believe we're capable of hurting people and that you weren't under the Imperius curse and that I just let it happen. None of the news articles, none of the letters mention that I tried to defend them, or that you struggled against the curse. They Prophet makes us sound cold blooded, and people believe that. People who knew us, who worked with us, who were our friends. How can they believe it? Why do we need to work to convince people that we aren't like that and get them on our side to help us?

There's really not been much word. That's the most frustrating part. Sometimes I feel like they've forgotten. It's probably good, like you said. They're being meticulous, they haven't found anything that makes them want to shove us in a cell and throw away the key. I'm trying not to be upset with any of them. They're just doing their jobs, but sometimes I feel irrationally angry towards a lot of people, Mister Lupin included. Then I remember he has been very kind to us and that he lost his friend and it subsides. I worry about when that won't be enough for me to put my anger aside, he's my biggest life line right now. I owe him a lot. I'd have gone stir crazy without him ages ago.

I'm grateful for Luna's help, really, but she seems a bit cold or aloof with me. I don't have the energy to try and charm anyone anymore. I guess it doesn't matter how she acts as long as she carries the letters. I want to do something nice for her, but I'm really limited on the amount of nice things I can do. I made Mister Lupin a scarf, maybe I'll make her one too. It can be a little secret club, people who are kind to criminals are marked by Mali-made scarves.

I know it sounds like I'm self pitying or something but I want to be perfectly clear. I don't regret what we've done. I maybe regret that we took so long to tell anyone but I don't regret getting involved. If I was given the choice to go back I'd still do it a hundred times over. We were forced into a terrible situation but I've got something beautiful and wonderful out of it. I wouldn't trade my feelings for you for freedom. I'm thankful for the times we got together, like the time on the beach. I can't wait 'til we get to do that again. I know we will. It's just a matter of time.

Love,
Mali