Rage

Well, it wasn't Azkaban - but Theo's home was certainly no less a prison. There were nasty guards - he wasn't sure who yelled louder when the news broke, his dad or his sister - and his own solitary confinement; Theo was stuck in his room and very brief late-night runs to the kitchen, lest he face the family he lied to. They were understandably pretty darn unhappy with him, his lies, and their own current predicament of being stuck with his sorry ass in the house at all times until Merlin knows when. For Theo, this was maybe worse than prison. This was hell. He was constantly reminded of what he'd done, from the disappointed grumblings of his family to the much louder Howlers than had already begun to arrive through his window - and the one person who could understand, and thus make it just a little bit easier, was being held captive in her own home. He wasn't even allowed to talk to Mali, no letters or anything, and he was struggling. Theo was an incredibly dangerous person to leave alone in a vulnerable state - guess that's why they took his wand, too.

With nothing else to do but mope, mope he did. He didn't even try to sleep, because surely the monsters lurking in his nightmares were waiting right behind his eyelids to congratulate him. He was one of them now. A bloody murderer. Even if he (read: Mali, no one would ever believe Theo) managed to convince them of the truth one day, that wasn't a reputation one could exactly shake. People would never trust him again. And Mali? With their time apart, she just might start believing them, too. Theo would be utterly alone and universally hated.

These sorts of cheery thoughts, among others, were keeping him company in the early morning hours when he heard voices outside of his bedroom door. Very loud voices, at least one of them. Theo cursed and tried to block them out - people had been coming to the door already, reporters, maybe Meg had let one of the bloody gits inside. Sounds like something she would do. This voice, though...it was very loud, and pounding against his door, demanding his audience. And...he recognized it. He'd never had it yell at him before, but he recognized it. Theo's heart dropped into his stomach. Luna was here, and she was pissed.

Theo had to drag himself to the door, feet shuffling across the carpet. He'd lied to her to protect her, too (and himself, but definitely her at least a little bit). He had no intention of hurting Luna in all this - but he obviously misunderstood the depth of her connection to it. Because she was hurt, and pissed. Boy, was she pissed. Theo was actually scared to open his bedroom door. He hadn't seen her much at all, honestly, but he'd certainly never seen her so angry and it was intimidating. Theo felt dried up and brittle, already too tired of explaining himself when no one believed it anyway. He was a shell, and he looked it.

Theo opened his bedroom door slowly, just a small space, as if some physical barrier could lessen the blow of Luna's rage. She had the Prophet article, and Theo stared down at his face next to Mali's as Luna went in on him. For a brief confusing second - almost hopeful, it was so confusing - Theo thought she was mad about Mali. Mad that he was pictured with another woman at a time when the two of them were dating. Oh, if it were only so juvenile and innocent. Those problems Theo could handle with a surprising grace (from lots of practice). But he wasn't a schoolboy and this wasn't a case of jealousy. He was a murderer and Luna another person he'd hurt terribly with his lies. He was quickly seeing how fast that number was going to add up in the next couple days.

"Luna--". He just got started before Luna was barging in and poking him in the chest, more accusations. Where to even begin? Theo couldn't tell what she was the maddest about. "Please stop-- I thought it was better-- For you--". He couldn't get a word in edgewise around her anger - and then she pulled her wand and the fight was over. Theo had no wand, he couldn't protect himself against magic no matter how much bigger than Luna he was. He held his hands up in front of him. "Please. I'm so sorry." He forced himself to stand still and not tremble, forced himself to look Luna in the eye - until she dropped her wand and looked elsewhere. Theo followed her gaze, absolutely shocked to find his sister standing there with her wand on Luna. That was an interesting development. The way she'd been yelling last night, he really would have expected her to curse him right along with Luna. Theo shook his head at Luna's questions that weren't directed at him, backing up Meg's words.

Thought it was better! That was hysterical and if she wasn't fuming the wispy blonde might have laughed in his face. It was a lie, and apparently that was all Theo was about was lies. He didn't think it was better for her. He thought it was better for himself and gave no thought to how she might feel. "You're so selfish!" her voice was laced with venom and unbridled rage. "You're a liar! Just stop your lying!" It was as simple as that. If he wanted something to be better for her then he wouldn't have lied about it. No one had ever thanked anyone for lying to them or hiding horrible news like this. If he was at least honest about that than he was more naïve than she even thought possible.

It didn't matter what his intentions were, really. He was directly responsible for the death of Neville's father, he was the one who hurt Neville in one of the deepest and most painful ways possible. "You're not sorry!" That wand tip did a good job substituting her finger mashing against his chest in anger. "You're bloody sorry you got caught! If it was really true, if it wasn't your fault.. I could have helped you!" It wasn't just her work through the Order but her close friendship with Neville and several other aurors. Luna was as well connected as they came and normally one with a level head with these sorts of things. "I don't believe you! I don't! You lied the whole time, you hid something like that from me and I don't believe it was because you're innocent!" Her entire view of Theo had been distorted. He'd gone from lovable and caring to cold blooded killer. If he had truly been a victim of the Imperius curse he would have told someone... someone.

Meg was a brave one to pull her wand on her. It was no secret that Luna was an accomplished enough duelist to survive battles alongside Harry, Ron and Hermione against Voldemort's nastiest followers. Instead of endearing Meg to Luna it only provoked her. As far as she was concerned she knew absolutely anything about the Ashlands. The lot of them could've been in this together. "A man is dead by your brother's hand! That's not a problem that can be solved, there's no reversal, no solution!" She looked to her wand and back to Meg, shoving it roughly behind her ear like a secretary might keep a pen. Honestly she didn't need a wand for rudimentary spells. She resisted the urge to tell Meg to put her own wand away, that she was confident in her abilities to outduel her but that was unkind and even in her outrage she wasn't needlessly cruel.

The act of putting away her wand worked wonders, it seemed to dull her temper and reign it in and she turned back to Theo and even managed to refrain from shouting. "Tell me what happened. Tell me everything and don't you dare try to lie. I want you to look me in the eye, not at Meg, not at the floor. If you're going to lie then you lie to my face."

Dang. Luna was really laying into Theo. And as much as Meg normally thought he deserved it...he didn't need anymore people telling him they didn't believe him. That was rough, no matter what he may or may not have done. Meg stayed silent though, honestly a bit too afraid to interrupt Luna in her rage. She could patch it up later maybe, maybe make Theo tea if he didn't lock himself in his room for the next forever. Tea always fixed things, or at least Meg pretended enough that it did, that it always made her feel better. She worried her lip between her teeth as Theo also began to respond in anger - that definitely wasn't good. Eventually, Meg was worried enough to pull her wand out and eventually, Luna's rage turned on her.

It was brief, but it was burning. Of course not, of course they couldn't bring a dead man back to life. Meg just didn't want anyone else to have to get hurt over this. Luna did put her wand away, which eased Meg's anxiety greatly. She knew the girl was learning wandless magic, too, but she also seemed to stuff away some of her seething rage along with her wand. "I know that. But does anyone else need to get hurt?" She pleaded; but her brother and her friend were back to paying each other attention, and Meg fell silent again.

It was time for Theo's story. Meg hadn't actually heard the whole thing out of his mouth, not like this. Little bits and pieces shouted in sudden rage or sadness, but her information came from the Prophet same as anyone else. Thus, she sincerely hoped the story had the same effect on Luna that it was having on her. Maybe it was just because she knew him so well, but to her, it was obvious that Theo wasn't lying. He couldn't control his emotions on a good day, and right now he looked so damn regretful and sorrowful Meg felt like her heart might break in two. When he was done, Meg shifted on the carpet, approaching the pair hesitantly to lay a hand on his arm and watch Luna for her reaction.

"Aurors were the last people I wanted to talk to at the time, Luna. That's why I ran away in the first place." Theo punctuated his words hitting his fist against his palm, to save it from going through a wall instead. Luna just wouldn't understand, and it was so, so frustrating. She was making him think about things he didn't want to ever consider again. As far as he was concerned, that part of this ordeal was over. He boxed it up and put it away in order to free up a little sanity to deal with the monster that was house arrest (that was going well so far, obviously). Theo was pretty damn good at leaving the past behind when it suited him, though this was often more of a negative thing than positive. Some would call it...well, selfish.

Theo took the crumpled up newspaper ball to the chest, shaking his head at Luna. What could he say? What could he possibly say? She didn't believe him, that much was very clear. Apparently, Luna was a big fan of the Prophet when it suited her needs. All sorts of vile things in this same vein crawled over Theo's tongue, but he bit them back with the last ounce of his willpower. He still didn't want to hurt her, even now with her yelling in his face. He wasn't interested in that. He cared for Luna still and that was the point of his whole terribly misguided plan to spare her with his lies. Theo was frustrated and vindictive and angry with the world but none of that called for being cruel to Luna. It wasn't her fault he was in this situation to begin with, after all. The only person Theo should have been taking his frustration out on was himself; it sure didn't feel like it, the way he stayed up at night shaking, but maybe he wasn't doing that enough. Suddenly, Theo felt very tired. Not sleepy (wouldn't that be nice), but exhausted. He ran out of steam very quickly and just wanted to go back to hiding in his bed, alone. He was about to say as much when the words exchanged between Luna and Meg did something to him he didn't even know was possible - made him feel even worse.

Luna loved Neville. Theo knew little about the bloke - definitely wasn't keen on meeting him anytime soon, no offense to him - but apparently Luna loved him. There had been mentions of seeing other people, mixed up in all of other Theo's lies at the time (he had to admit, lying did make it all a bit cloudy), but he hadn't known this. That sort of explained it, didn't it? Theo knew as well as anyone what sort of crazed things love could make you do, having just experienced a similar sort of outburst himself not too terribly long ago. Completely different context and point, sure, but the same high emotions. He knew all about that. Because of this, he tried to soften his expression as he told Luna his story. Mixed with his own sniffling at the end of it, the anger had obviously left him. He looked at Meg for a moment - she was being so nice, it was kind of weird, but the massive confusion more than anything did prevent him from sobbing so that was helpful - until the cracking in Luna's voice drew him back. Oh, no. No. Her yelling at him was so much easier to deal with than this. He could get angry, too - but with Luna crying, all he felt was heavy guilt. He looked back to Meg, who looked hesitant to even touch the girl. Theo, of course, was hesitant too - she could whip that wand back out any second, tears or not - but he was also overwhelmed with his own sadness over reliving yet again the worst day of his life thus far. He took a small step forward to rest a wide hand on Luna's shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I regret every bit of it and I want to make it right, now."

That was the other thing that made Luna so intimidating to Theo - this talk of connections. What did that mean? Luna was a good witch, a powerful witch. She was smart and that explained most of it to a person like Theo, who didn't want to think too deeply into doubts and suspicions in the interest of not ruining a good thing. But talk like that, of connections, and things like her acute awareness of the world even with a personality that suggested otherwise...that was intimidating to face. It was a complete mystery to him; Theo was the one not doing any understanding there. He shook his head at it, brain refusing to consider it any further. "I know it wasn't the right thing to do. Is that what you want me to say? Don't you think I know that? I was scared, and I was scared to ask for help, and I'm still scared now and you're not helping me now, either." Please leave, he thought, it was on the tip of his tongue waiting to come into existence as soon as Luna and Meg were done (he didn't want to stop that, maybe it would help, who knew) - but then everything devolved into a teary-eyed sort of hell and Theo wasn't really aware of what was going on until he felt his skull crack against a door frame.

Actually, that's not really the sort of thing that really brings awareness to one's mind. Somehow now sprawled out on his bedroom floor, Theo had to shake through the fugue for some moments to figure out how he got there and why his head was aching so bad. A voice, coming to him sounding as if he was underwater, brought his attention away from the patterns in his bedroom carpet. There were two blondes standing in the doorway...when did he get two sisters? Theo blinked; the growing pain in his head did bring some clarity after all, as it grew. It chased the fog away. That was Luna standing there, hand hanging in the air. Theo remembered now. Luna had been crying and he touched her and then found himself flung backward, hitting his head hard against the edge of his closet door before sprawling across the floor. Luna. Luna did that.

"Fuck," was the first thing Theo said, the first movement he made bringing his hand up to rub at the lump forming on the back of his head. He pulled in on himself, emotions flooding his system along with the pain after a momentary reset. Scared - Theo was scared of Luna. She'd had her wand on him earlier, but to think she would actually want to hurt him...Theo pulled his knees right up to his chest, resting his chin on them and wrapping his arms around himself. Angry - what gave her the right, to come into his home and attack him? Theo glared up at her. With her palm still hanging in the air like that though - Luna had obviously done this without a wand, that somehow made it worse - fear won out over any thoughts of vengeance. "Leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone." He buried his face into his knees, words mumbled, eyes squeezed shut over the new throbbing pain in the back of his head.